English 8
Mr. Salsich
May 17, 2010Choice:
An Essay That Describes My Belief in Choice
(TS) Choice has been a belief of mine since I was seven years old.(CM) This was the age that I figured out that choice was going to be a part of my life.(CM) Before that, my parents decided what I do and where I do it. It took a long time, until I was around eleven years old, to actually put my beleif into action.
(TS)Throughout my life, I have had the freedom, the luxury, and the stress of choice(parallelism). (second TS) Though the stress of choice is a burden, it is a small price to pay for something I believe in. (SD) As I grow older in life, I have realized that the choices I make are affecting the people around me; I like to call this, a "ripple effect".(CM) This "ripple effect" has made itself more and more present as I am given the freedom to make more choices for myself.(CM) This "ripple effect" is unavoidable, and can end up in a positive manor, or a horrific disaster.(SD) Each day I wake up in the morning; snooze or shower; each day I eat breakfast, Wheaties or Cheerios; each day I make my lunch; a sandwich or leftovers (parallelism); a mere three examples of the hundreds of choices I make every day.(CM) My morning routine is full of simple choices that do not effect my life in a major way. (CM) The "ripple effects" of these examples are small compared to some choices I have to make. (SD) It is never possible to make everyone happy. (CM) The choices I have made have made people very satisfied, but that happiness, I have learned, must be taken from another source. (CM) Each decision I make must alternate sources in order to keep people happy some of the time. (CS) The "ripple effect" is a consequence of the freedom, the responsibility, and the splendor(thesaurus word) of choice.
(TS) As a young boy, I learned how important choice would become in my later life. (CM) I am now living that later life I spoke of so long ago, and my prophecy(thesaurus word) has become a reality. (CM) I have witnessed my choices hurt and benefit the people around me. (CS) Because it is a constant fuel of my life, I believe in choice.
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Self-Assessment
This was an extremely serious essay for me. I remember Hearing the 9th grade speeches a few years back about "what [they] believe in". Within an hour after hearing the first speech, I decided, If I ever wrote about something I believe in, I would write about choice. This was my opportunity. I honestly love the closing paragraph. It might be one of my best of the year. I think I could have said "I believe" more in the body paragraph, this would have helped tie the essay together.
Grade:
A
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