Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Essay #6

Cooper Feltes
English 9
Mr. Salsich
October 19, 2010

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall:
What Do People See in Their Reflection?

        (TS) It varies, what people see when they look upon their own reflection in a mirror.(CM) Some people see just what others see, their bodies, whereas others see deeper inside the mirror, who they are, their emotions, anything that they can decipher of what they see.(CM) People may render themselves a cast-away, never to be what other expect, or a person who is satisfied with their life. (CS) Either way, people judge themselves when they stare into that reflective rectangle.


          (TS) What do the characters in Tale of Two Cities see when they look at their reflection? Maybe the image of their bodies, the carriers of their soul through the world, or something more. (SD) If Lucie Manette were to see into the depths of the mirror, she would find a happy person standing in front of her. (CM) She is not influenced by what other people think about what she looks like, for she knows that she is acceptable both in physique and in personality. (CM) Despite her past, she lets no one sway her to be different, which is not the case for her father, the man who spent twenty years of his life in prison, twenty years that ate away at his sanity, the only thing his mind could clasp onto before he was saved. (Subordinate cumulative sentence)(SD) Dr. Manette would probably feel the same way as Lucie if he were to look in the mirror, with much satisfaction. (CM) Back during his imprisonment, he would probably see a sorrowful man with no hope in sight, but since then, he has grown to be a very successful gentleman with a nice home and a beautiful daughter.(CM) He lives well after he is released, and does not take in vane the many years dwindling away in prison. (SD) Mr. Lorry, on the other hand, is quite emotionless when looking in the mirror. (CM) As a “man of business”, he doesn’t have time to consider what others think of him. (CM) He might see a successful man and be pleased with himself, but otherwise, he doesn’t even consider what other people might think of him. (CS) All these characters have accepted who they are and look upon their reflection with satisfaction, and even with pure happiness.



         (TS)It is often looked over, in the real world, how we alter our image in order to please others. (SD) When I look in this mirror, I am subject to see a face that only other people can see, and not what I see. (CM) The only part of my face I have ever seen is the top of my cheek and the sides of my nose. (CM) Not everyone else sees the true personality in me when they look at me, for I am the only person in the world that can; what I see in the mirror is the only thing I have to offer them, for I cannot truly show them who I really am, a bright and enthusiastic young man, saying yes to anything with a smile, the biggest smile possible across the human face(subordinate cumulative sentence).(SD) Monitoring your appearance is often mistaken with monitoring your personality. (CM) Saying, “I’ll wear this so that they think I am cool”, means nothing in the real world; what really matters is, “I’m wearing this because I like it and I couldn’t care less about what other people think of me. (CM) Being true to yourself and not trying to meet the exact social specifications of others is something that I try to manage. (SD) Sometimes, though, my mind is not so strong, to the point where I break down and say, “is that really what I look like?” (CM) At these kinds of times, I look down upon my life and wonder what I would have been like If I didn’t say that one stupid thing back in second grade, or if I had only known this or that. (CM) Saying things like this is not helpful, I have found, and you end up looking the same in that mirror. (CS) Mirror, mirror, on the wall only displays what other people see when they look at you; unfortunately, they cannot see what you are on the inside. 

         (TS)The mirror, way back when, was invented to let people see what others see, the beautiful being standing in the frame.(CM) Improving yourself in the mirror's image should, however, not be used to make other people say things like, "they look really good tonight", but to make you say it.(CM) In order to let others accept you, it must be made clear that you approve your own image that lay in the reflection of the "magical" rectangle. (CS) That beautiful being will indeed be elegant, no matter how much conflict there is between your brain saying, "I must improve", and your body saying, "I am already beautiful."

2 comments:

Ben'jamin said...

Cooper,
In the first body paragraph, you are suppost to have a courdinating cumulative sentence, not a subordinate sentence.


In your first sentence, you have a semi colon. The second half of your sentence is a fragment so you only need a camma.

Try not to say things like "other than that" like you do in your second to last sentence in your first paragraph. It just sounds a little too informal.

I really like your subordinate sentence in the second paragraph because it moves the sentence forward but in a very suttle way

Austin said...

Cooper,
Your subordinate cumulative sentence in the first paragraph is beautifully written. It adds levels of information, improving the sentence and transitioning well into the next sentence. However, in your second paragraph's topic sentence, since you use a semi-colon instead of a period you shouldn't capitalize the "l" in looking. Also, try to avoid using words like "really" or "very" specifically in second paragraph's first commentary sentence.

Good essay so far!