essay #9 Carton

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

November 30, 2010

Emotionally Cornered:

The Path the Emotionally Fearful Must Take

          What opportunities do people have when they hide in their emotional corners, not allowing themselves to live their life to their full potential? These people are destined to live limited lives, not becoming what they want because of this emotional fear. This same emotional fear feeds itself, in many cases becomes the chains that slow and stop people from becoming acceptable citizens of society(alliteration). Many of these people, unfortunately, never find the right path in life, and in Tale of Two Cities, this person is Sydney Carton. 


          Sydney Carton is one of those people who you have to spend a lot of time with to understand. More often Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
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an not, he wants to spend time by himself, and begs the world to leave him alone. He "care[s] for no man, and no man cares for [him]", which shouts that he has spent much time of his life sad, and alone, and away from other people(polysindeton). All he wants is to be "taken no notice of" and to drift past the lives of others, just as he has allowed others drift pass him like a man sitting on the bench of a mall, waiting for someone to ask him what is wrong. Carton has lived most of his life sad, and separated, and languished(FAST), and lonely, but he occasionally makes an attempt to be sympathetic. In chapter thirteen of the book, he tells Lucie that he is "undeserving" and "weak", definitely displaying (alliteration)sorrowful attributes in order to make Lucie feel bad for him. Spending most of his life without much emotional strength, he resorts to making others sympathize(FAST) for his loneliness, which, in his case, probably was not the best approach. Carton does, however, show promising signs of emotional growth. Trying to win Lucie was a hopeful sign that is trying to start a significant life-- a life full of meaning and purpose(appositive). He seems to be taking advice from his colleague and comrade(alliteration), Stryver, one step further, finding somebody to love, instead of finding someone to "take care of [him]." Carton is, on the whole, a misunderstood and growing person.


            To help Mr. Carton, all he needs is some quality advice to guide him down a new path of life, away from his comfort zone. For most of his life, he has been as unnoticed as a "useless peace of furniture." Even Stryver suggested he move on from his habitual(FAST) attitude. Being more social, in contrast with his normal misanthropic mindset, will give him a positive point of view towards his life. I would also suggest Carton get a new job. Although he is good at what he does, it seems to be a depressing occupation for him, and is dragging his life down, holding him like a steel chain holds the yearning prisoner from breaking out of the metal bars that keep him in(Coordinate cumulative with simile). If he had "used his talents better", he might not be in such a sorrowful situation(alliteration). Carton likes to remind people how sorry of a situation he is in, but he needs to find a different way to grab attention. His trip to the manette's house to win Lucie's love, making her aware of all his weaknesses, is testimony(FAST) to the need of a different change of pace in his way of thinking. Hopefully he will, at some point, learn that his way of thinking does not work for him. Carton needs to be social, and strong, and, most of all, smart(polysindeton/alliteration).


          Carton seems to have many good qualities, but, on the whole, needs some improvement. He acts and talks as if he knows he needs help, but doesn't act upon it, he looks and lives(alliteration) as if he hasn't had one hour of fun in his life, and he grabs his love as if he was a desperate man in need of repair. He is, in fact, in need of a repair that will take years, not only to reverse his sorrowful life of being a "lifeless drudge," but to create out of him a proper and acceptable man. The "useless piece of furniture" he hopes to be is not working for him and to find his path in life, he must let go of this idea completely.


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Self Assessment:


I do not like this essay, although I worked hard on it. Since I began to write essays, I knew that I have had trouble writing about text, and I think that shows in this essay. Writing about text, to me, is boring, dissecting a book or examining a sentence, both are miniaturized by my love for writing about feelings and happenings that I can relate to. In this individual essay, I see that I skillfully kept similes and quotes popping up throughout the essay, to keep it stitched together.
Personal grade: A-

Essay #8

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

November 16, 2010

Eye in the Sky:

What Are “Sublimer Intelligences” Able to See?

             Ever since humans first started to walk the Earth, the horizon has restricted us from easily seeing what lies beyond its barrier. Because of this, we imagined. We imagined what those points of light were in the night sky, and found out; we imagined skyscrapers, and built them; we imagined technology, and made it real. Now, we look upon what we have done and wonder what others, any sort of being that can have an opinion, maybe a “sublimer intelligence(Dickens,183)”, might have to say about it.

             To gain a sense of what is happening around us, humans rely on some sort of “eye in the sky”. Our vision only allows us to see what is around us, and, unless placed at a high vantage point, is limited by the barrier of the horizon. The only things we can know are restricted to the “rays of light [we] analyze(Dickens,183)”. The universe is bursting(FAST) with striking, explosive, vivid(FAST), and colorful figures, yet to be unseen by the human eye. The “eye in the sky” is the only thing that we can rely on to tell us what these things—creations of the universe that wait and wait for something to notice them (appositive)—are. It is debatable whether the human race will ever be able to discover and understand all of these happenings, however many thousands or millions of years it may take to survey the vast distances of the universe. Maybe the "eye in the sky" limits our  view on purpose, barring us from the amazing spectacles that occur outside of our area of concern, or maybe the people who are able to see the colors among and beyond the stars are too ignorant to realize that they aren't the only thing in the universe that matters.

             Today, many people wonder about what "sublimer intelligences" might think about us, or what they are able to see that we can't. When they study the human race, do they see the population of a prospering, flourishing(FAST), and expanding society, or do they see a dull, dwindling, and dying society? Down here from the surface of our home, the answer is debatable, but up there in the heavens of the universe, the answer might be obvious.  We all hope for the best, namely that we are doing the right thing; the "eye in the sky", though, might be trying to tell us different. The superior beings that dwell in the stars may, in the eyes of some, be trying to push us towards a perfect society-- no crime, no hate, no pain or suffering in sight(coordinate cumulative sentence). This effort is futile. The  utopian(FAST) society that "sublimer intelligences" may be trying to steer us towards is reliant on envisioning the outcome of every decision , and making the choice that will benefit the world, but we can't see the future, so the ideal society that the world and the "eye in the sky" dream of will, in the near future, remain a dream. In due time, the superior beings among the stars will achieve their dream. Maybe( purposeful sentence fragment).

          

               For centuries, people have been relying on an “eye in the sky” to see things beyond their view. That same idea has, over time, enlarged itself to influence the lives of its slaves. Not only can that superior being let us see beyond our vision, but we now depend on it to tell us right from wrong. The “sublimer intelligences” that live among the stars may look upon us in joy or dismay(FAST), and in subtle, almost unnoticeable ways, let us know.

Self Assessment

             This essay, I hope, will be the best I have written. Although making sentences clear and understandable was a challenge for me, especially while writing about such a complicated topic, I think that, since I read over the essay multiple times, I tackled this confusing, ongoing problem. I think that I masterfully exhibited my points in this essay, especially in the second paragraph.

Personal Grade: A+

Essay #7

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

November 4, 2010

Peace:

The Contrast Between Creation and Destruction

Peace and war are not the same thing. Though unable to coexist without the other, they tend to destroy each other with an endless process or destruction and creation. The creation part though, is, usually, the most difficult part, forcing many to resort to the opposite. Not a good thing. Ideally, everyone would be building and forming, but in the real world, there are many more people who tear things down than build things up, for the sole reason that decimating things is easier than forming them. This unbalance leads to downfall, which in its path, the long and winding road, devoid of life and movement, drags creation behind it like an army of tiny ants hauling a relatively giant leaf across the forest floor (cumulative simile). In the real world, many people think of themselves as having peaceful personalities. It is debatable whether or not they actually do, for they are not forced into situations with people they hate. Countries, who insist on either really liking each other or being repulsed by each other are forced to live together, can’t really vacate the earth, much like the general population evacuates a room whenever they see someone they don’t like. Thus, it could be said that war’s roots stem from the incapacity for countries to retreat. Creation would be abundant if the political organizations of the world could swallow their pride and back away--leave all they have worked for(verb appositive)-- when another country pressured them. Unfortunately, this is the real world, and political borders don’t shift around. And so, this real world hosts all the war and the occasional creation that the human race has to offer, and while the population dreams of peace, harmony, and silence, groups, organizations, towns, cities, states, and countries fight on, and only dream of the luxury of not having to worry when the next "bomb" will drop. 


The love that Mr. Carton and Charles Darnay share for Lucie is causing unrest in the plot of Tale of Two Cities. The peace of the Manette family has been unsettled temporarily, as all peace is every now and then. If not for Mr. Carton, Darnay and Lucie would live happily ever after, but unfortunately, the world doesn’t allow for “easy love”. Fighting for the ones you love takes up so much of your time, but if you have won the fight, you know it was worth it. If the rage of war was too much for you and you pulled out of the race, you will wish you had never started, and wallow in the joy of your former competitor. Darnay and Carton are twisted in this scheme and will fight-- level everything in their path(verb appositive)-- for the love of the same person, and after the climax of the war, one will be victorious, will be peaceful. The other, not so much. The loser of the battle starts a civil war in his mind, a war that consumes him, destroys him, and ravages him, like a clumsy animal parading around a minefield; one sensitive nerve touched, and the landscape starts to dissolve around him, taking him with it(cumulative simile). 


The poem we have been reading, A Rainy Morning by Ted Kooser, offers the same type of peace as well, only this time with two different examples. The woman in the wheel chair is struggling with herself. Now, it is a battle between her mental strength and the wheelchair. Whichever gives out first will be conquered by the one that doesn't. If the woman's emotional power prevails, she will guide the wheelchair and tell it what it will do and will live a peaceful life. If the wheelchair turns out victorious, she limits her life, letting the strain of the chair pull her life down in an unstoppable spiral, so much so that she constantly regrets her past actions, whatever they may be.
The peace in oneself is a reflection of their minds, not their bodies.

Self Assessment--------------------------------------------------------------------
Looking at this essay, I realize that I need to say what I mean. Just speaking I have trouble with this, but in writing, it seems, contrast to what it should be, harder than it needs to be. In this particular essay, I loved the "clumsy animal in a minefield" sentence. I think, with this simile, I nailed the jackpot of my writing creativity. The last paragraph however, really was a little bland and could use a little more work and more "zing" and "pep".


Personal Grade: A-

Essay #6

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

October 19, 2010

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall:

What Do People See in Their Reflection?

        (TS) It varies, what people see when they look upon their own reflection in a mirror.(CM) Some people see just what others see, their bodies, whereas others see deeper inside the mirror, who they are, their emotions, anything that they can decipher of what they see.(CM) People may render themselves a cast-away, never to be what other expect, or a person who is satisfied with their life. (CS) Either way, people judge themselves when they stare into that reflective rectangle.

          (TS) What do the characters in Tale of Two Cities see when they look at their reflection? Maybe the image of their bodies, the carriers of their soul through the world, or something more. (SD) If Lucie Manette were to see into the depths of the mirror, she would find a happy person standing in front of her. (CM) She is not influenced by what other people think about what she looks like, for she knows that she is acceptable both in physique and in personality. (CM) Despite her past, she lets no one sway her to be different, which is not the case for her father, the man who spent twenty years of his life in prison, twenty years that ate away at his sanity, the only thing his mind could clasp onto before he was saved. (Subordinate cumulative sentence)(SD) Dr. Manette would probably feel the same way as Lucie if he were to look in the mirror, with much satisfaction. (CM) Back during his imprisonment, he would probably see a sorrowful man with no hope in sight, but since then, he has grown to be a very successful gentleman with a nice home and a beautiful daughter.(CM) He lives well after he is released, and does not take in vane the many years dwindling away in prison. (SD) Mr. Lorry, on the other hand, is quite emotionless when looking in the mirror. (CM) As a “man of business”, he doesn’t have time to consider what others think of him. (CM) He might see a successful man and be pleased with himself, but otherwise, he doesn’t even consider what other people might think of him. (CS) All these characters have accepted who they are and look upon their reflection with satisfaction, and even with pure happiness.

         (TS)It is often looked over, in the real world, how we alter our image in order to please others. (SD) When I look in this mirror, I am subject to see a face that only other people can see, and not what I see. (CM) The only part of my face I have ever seen is the top of my cheek and the sides of my nose. (CM) Not everyone else sees the true personality in me when they look at me, for I am the only person in the world that can; what I see in the mirror is the only thing I have to offer them, for I cannot truly show them who I really am, a bright and enthusiastic young man, saying yes to anything with a smile, the biggest smile possible across the human face(subordinate cumulative sentence).(SD) Monitoring your appearance is often mistaken with monitoring your personality. (CM) Saying, “I’ll wear this so that they think I am cool”, means nothing in the real world; what really matters is, “I’m wearing this because I like it and I couldn’t care less about what other people think of me. (CM) Being true to yourself and not trying to meet the exact social specifications of others is something that I try to manage. (SD) Sometimes, though, my mind is not so strong, to the point where I break down and say, “is that really what I look like?” (CM) At these kinds of times, I look down upon my life and wonder what I would have been like If I didn’t say that one stupid thing back in second grade, or if I had only known this or that. (CM) Saying things like this is not helpful, I have found, and you end up looking the same in that mirror. (CS) Mirror, mirror, on the wall only displays what other people see when they look at you; unfortunately, they cannot see what you are on the inside. 

         (TS)The mirror, way back when, was invented to let people see what others see, the beautiful being standing in the frame.(CM) Improving yourself in the mirror's image should, however, not be used to make other people say things like, "they look really good tonight", but to make you say it.(CM) In order to let others accept you, it must be made clear that you approve your own image that lay in the reflection of the "magical" rectangle. (CS) That beautiful being will indeed be elegant, no matter how much conflict there is between your brain saying, "I must improve", and your body saying, "I am already beautiful."

Essay#5 Reunification

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

October 12, 2010

Long Lost:

An Essay about Losing a Parent Finding Them Again

(TS) The emotional trauma of losing a parent is staggering to ponder; being informed that that person has been alive after twenty years of thinking they have been dead is even more mind-blowing. (CM) In Tale of Two Cities, this is the story that Lucie Manette has been forced into. (CM) Dickens uses his superior technique to pop emotions out of the book and make them affect you like a lifelike situation. (CS) The emotional mood of this chapter of the book astonishingly unique and expresses the feelings of the characters very well.

(TS) The emotional ambiance of the unification of Miss Manette and her father reveal what true passion that Dickens can write with. (SD) For example, On page 48, Miss Manette displays her emotional turmoil, the rolling thunder and lightning of expression,  for her father, locked up for years by the French, held captive away from his family for so long, by repeatedly shouting “weep for it, weep for it.” (Coordinate cumulative sentence) (CM) The passionate words she exclaims resonate through the chapter and force the reader to sympathize for her woes. (CM) Dickens, using and reusing a phrase, pulls the chapter together in an earthquake of tears and joy of reunification. (SD) Dickens also uses Mr. Lorry’s machine-like personality to the situation’s advantage. (CM) Mr. Lorry supposes he has the situation under control until Miss Manette says, “I entreat you good gentleman, do not speak, do not move.” (CM) Mr. Lorry is bashed my an unfamiliar feeling of sorrow that he has not yet experienced due to his inability to feel emotions. (SD) Monsieur Dufarge and Mr. Lorry, having not been in this kind of position before, are unaware of the gravity of the situation. (CM) With two “lethargic” characters in front of them, they insist on packing up and leaving Paris.(CM) This forces them to end their bond that has seemed to have  lasted so long. (CM) Dickens uses characters and words to intensify the passion of the unification of Miss Manette and her father.

                (TS) If I were in Lucie’s situation, having grown up without a father for twenty years, my heart would be in a million different places when I would finally get to meet him. (SD) Meeting a stranger who was told to be my father would make me a little untrustworthy. (CM) I might believe that the man who comes walking into my life was an imposter and didn’t deserve my attention. (CM) Though there would be no easy way of knowing, If he were my father and I didn’t believe he was, I would go the rest of my life thinking what a “pretender” the man was, although he had done nothing wrong. (SD) Aside from my possible incredulity (word from TTC), I might spontaneously get angry at the man who had detached his life from mine for so long. (CM) If he were irresponsible enough to walk out on his child then I would certainly let him have it. (CM) However, if he was like Lucie Manette’s father, locked in prison for twenty years without trial or accusation, then I would definitely be more grateful and happy for his return into my life. (SD) Happiness and uncontrollable thankfulness would be predominant in my mind if he were actually my father with well-meant or forced, like doctor Manette, purpose for depriving me of his influence.  (CM) Reuniting with a long lost relative is one of the most tearful and most joyful occasions, but with a father who you haven’t seen in twenty years, the emotion, the driving force, the feeling of love, and down the scale to enragement and pure anger, the brutal passion of the brain, is amplified to an astounding degree (Coordinate cumulative sentence). (CM) My father would accept me and I would accept him as family and we would spend hours crying over lost time. (CS) My feelings would be all over the place is I was in Lucie’s situation, my father being gone for twenty years and finally getting to meet him.

                (TS) Losing a parent at a young age is frightening to think about, even more so when you are informed that that parent has been alive all the time that you thought they were dead. (CM) To Lucie, the thought is inescapable, for she experienced it when her father returned to her life. (CM) The mood of the situation was so strong that I experience all the emotions that Lucie was feeling, to the point where I thought I knew the trauma of losing a parent; reality came back into play, though, and Lucie was the one that really was feeling the mixed emotions of finding a long lost parent.(CS) Lucie has a strong mind, so brave, so accepting, so powerful, to accept her father, captivated for so many years, back into her life with open and loving arms.

Self Assessment-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An issue I see recurring in my work is the trouble of finding synonyms for certain key words that are used frequently, in this case "emotion". I especially like my varied use of sentence lengths, particularly noticeable in the opening and closing paragraphs. These paragraphs, though, are the ones I had the most trouble with, for a reason I am unsure of, though I think it was because of trying to combine both body paragraphs into two sentences to end the essay

Personal Grade: B+

MV writing

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

October 10, 2010

Martha’s Vineyard Freestyle Poems:

Poems from the Heart Written on Martha’s Vineyard

Ugliness of Nature:

Take nature, for example, and compare it only to what we see. What is available for us to look upon is limited by what we can discover. The creatures of the deep ocean need not be beautiful, for there are no eyes that are able to judge it. Whereas upon the shore, the people and animals are all easily seen by each other, for the haze of the murky water is unapparent. The people who experience utter and pure beauty on a regular basis do not know how to react at such vile looks, but the creature doesn’t mind, for it understands that these beautiful people know not what they do. From the creature’s point of view, this astounding beauty standing before him is incomprehensible. For days the beast tries to understand what it saw like an indoor cat that is let into the outside world for no more than  five minutes to explore everything it can, but when  the time expires, it is returned to its indoor environment. Naturally, the cat needs to get back out to keep exploring. Absorbing so many new things, as the creature has seen  so much unfamiliar beauty , the creature goes insane, even to a larger degree than the cat would, having seen such an unfamiliar world.

Keep them High:

Keep your thoughts high, for people will put you down, like the roaring and ferocious sea will see to it that the dunes will be destroyed and demolished by the raw power of nature. Dunes, using the same power, put the ocean back in its place by rebuilding itself. It keeps its thoughts high and realizes nothing that has happened in the past, and focuses only on rebuilding what it had, only better. The ocean is not satisfied. The waves keep trying and trying again, each time seeing the successful dune steal away its pride by becoming successively more powerful each cycle of tearing down and building up. The ocean doesn’t understand why it can’t defeat such a seemingly helpless enemy. The ocean hasn’t yet realized that the dune has a powerful mind that shields its eyes from the past and keeps looking towards the future. That is the way to live. The past can’t be changed, but it is only a matter of time until the once helpless dune basks in the defeat of its once more powerful enemy. That mental strength keeps the dune alive and strengthens it to a higher degree ever cycle of destruction and creation.

Hand Soap:

Forgiveness is like a full bottle of hand soap. A single person has only so much capacity to forgive a person until they realize that the people who constantly need forgiveness are the ones that can’t learn lessons. Patience eventually runs thin, and the bottle will run out of hand soap. Different people take different amounts of soap from the bottle of forgiveness, sometimes in big globs, or in little squirts. Being together with my classmates on Martha’s Vineyard for three straight days has taken out of my bottle, and I have had to forgive people time and time again for numerous different reasons. I am young, so my soap bottle is relatively full, but as I grow older, that won’t be the case. Refilling this soap bottle is a slow and lengthy process that can take years to reproduce any soap. The bottle itself gets worn down after decades of use, wear, and tear. Whether or not you decide to take the time to fill you bottle and concentrate on it, or whether you have noticed that people don’t break habits, you are eventually going to need a new bottle.

Essay #3 Personification

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

September 28, 2010

              (TS)Could you imagine a world where ordinary objects spring to life? (CM) Maybe a world where at any moment, your bed could stand up and have a conversation with you, or the walls of the room you sit in animate and start discussing their favorite music. (CM)The different possible personalities that could be displayed by every day places and objects are endless. (CS) This kind of world would indubitably be whacky, but would give a different perspective of things around us.

              (TS) My room that I sit in every day to do homework could be related to an energetic monkey, climbing all over my cabinets, running all over the floor, smashing everything I own, and creating an endless array of distracting sounds. (SD) My workspace is supposed to be a great place for me to stay concentrated and get my work done.(CM) This concept is combated when I look anywhere in my room, where years of LEGOs, models, pictures, and  useless trinkets have accumulated. (CM) With the “screaming monkey” distracting me from my work, it seems as though I can’t get anything done. (SD) Distraction is not the only thing the “monkey” is a professional at. (CM) Over the course of the busy day, I leave numerous tracks to mark where I have been. (CM) Whether it be clothes on the floor or dirt running into the house from outside, the darn animal just doesn’t seem to let me look away from the many messes I leave in my workspace. (SD) The things that I break, thought, make the biggest messes in my room.(CM) Occasionally I manage to destroy a few plant pots or knock a delicate picture frame on the floor.(CM) Whether it be dropping a glass full of milk on the carpet or accidentally running into my table and knocking over the lamp, the monkey loves finding ways to inconvenience me. (CS) The energetic monkey knows how to distract me in my workspace and loves to push my buttons.

              (TS) My comforter, the warmest and coziest blanket that I have ever slept under, can closely be associated with a dog. (SD) Dogs are “man’s best friend”, but every night, the friendly nature of the pet is surpassed by the soft touch and loving fabric of my comforter. (CM) My blanket, just like a dog, is ready for me to spend time with it.(CM) Whether I had an awful day or the best day of my life, my comforter is prepared to enhance my day by giving me a great night’s sleep. (SD) On the other side of the spectrum, my cozy comforter can be extremely annoying, like an endless orchestra of barking dogs. (CM) When the great sleeping weather of winter starts to fade, to warm temperatures don’t bode well for my blankets. (CM) I often lay awake at night waiting for sleep to come and set me free from the endless “barking noise” of heat. (SD) The high temperatures are not the sole cause of my discomfort. (CM) I toss and turn at night, the extent of which could easily annoy a dog, causing him to leave the room and sleep somewhere else. (CM) With my feet kicking, the comforter can fall completely off the bed, leaving me cold and shivering, wondering where the “dog” had gone off to.(CS) Both a dog and my blanket can comfort me, annoy me, and be annoyed, but whatever happens, they will always be at my side, ready to ease my mind.

         

Essay #2 secrets

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

September 22, 2010

Mysteries and Secrets:

An Essay Describing the Secrets Inside Every Person

                (TS) Inside of every person are hundreds of mysteries and secrets. (CM) A person’s secrets are part of the essence of what defines them as a human being. (CM) If a person had absolutely no secrets, the world and every human living in it would have the opportunity to dissect them, or even rip them apart.(CS) Secrets and mysteries keep the world interesting.

(TS) In the book Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens, in the third chapter, writes about the secrets that “every human creature” holds within themselves. (SD) He explains that many people are like a “book”, which “shut[s] with a spring, for ever and ever, when [he] had read but a page.” (CM) I interpret that Dickens means that when people probe into the lives of another person, that person’s “book”—the personal journal that holds in it their real personality, their wishes, and their secrets(appositive)—snaps closed.(CM) The “mystery”, Dickens says, is the only thing we “shall carry [to] life’s end.” (SD) Dickens also states,“my friend…my neighbor…my love, the darling of my soul, [are] dead.”(CM) He mentions this in such a grave tone because, I believe, the character, or Dickens himself, didn’t know these people as well as he could have before they passed away. (CM) Their “book” might have closed before he could “read [the] pages”, or he might not have taken enough time to probe their personality before he lost the chance. (CS) Dickens believes that everyone has secrets, and there is no way that this cannot be true.

(TS)When Dickens speaks of mystery in a person, I think of a person wearing a pair of sunglasses. (SD) While the eyes hide behind the dark tint of the sunglasses, people on the outside may struggle to see facial expressions that display the emotions of the wearer. (CM) Moreover, the mysteries that reside in the “eyes” of a person are shielded by a barrier that bars people from seeing within. (CM) The “sunglasses” are the wall that blocks people from seeing the other side, unless the wearer decides to tear that wall down. (SD) Many people make the decision to remove their “sunglasses” every once and a while to expose their feelings and mysteries to the outside world that has been darkened by the tint of the lens.(CM) Exposing their “eyes” to the earth may, in fact, brighten up their lives.(CM) If this is not the path that they would like to take, they have the option to remain in their cocoon of secrets.(SD) On a humid, hot, and bright day, however, It is extremely hard to take off your sunglasses. (CM) in a particular social “climate” It is sometimes best to remain a mystery.(CM)  For example, when meeting new people, it would be particularly astonishing to pour your secrets out in conversation.(CS) Keeping your “sunglasses” on can be the best option at certain times, but taking off the barriers that barricade your mystery in can reveal to you a brighter world.

(TS) Every person that has lived a meaningful life on this earth has had at least one secret; at least one pair of “eyes” that are hidden from the outside world.(CM) The people that live in this “outside world” look upon your “book” of secrets and mysteries in hope of a sneak peek into who you really are. (CM) Whether or not you allow them to preview your book is a decision that determines how well you let people know you. (CS) Your mysteries and secrets define you as a “human creature” and what keep the world wondering who you really are.

Essay #1 summer's end

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

September 14, 2010

Summer's End:

My Thoughts on the Start of School

                 (TS) There are many different ways to feel about beginning the new school year. (CM) Having a positive attitude is probably the best way to cope with the coming months of homework, tests, and studying.(CM) Keeping a negative mindset, however, is easier and can hold a student in a rut of anguish and dismay.(CS) However you deal with the event, going back to school is unavoidable, and leaves many students wondering whether to love it, or to hate it.

                 (TS)There are many ways to make going back to school and ending summer seem like a horrible occasion.(SD) Listening to “Swallowed in the sea” by Coldplay keeps me from enjoying  going back to school.(CM) The song mentions placing people “on a shelf”, putting people “on a line, and [hanging people] out to dry.” (CM)These kinds of things are exactly what I feel when the summer comes to an end and the school year approaches. (SD)Watching the movie Heavyweights reminds me of going back to school.(CM) At a summer camp, the fun and playful owners retire to let a new and crazy owner take away the fun, making the kids throw away their candy, forcing them to exercise way too much(long sentence). (CM)This is the kind of transition that most children go through when their summer comes to an end.(CS) Looking on the bright side is one of the only ways to cope with the coming school year.

                  (TS) There are some things that make me feel a little less blue about coming back to school.(SD) In the same song that has many negative metaphors, "Swallowed in the sea", we can see some positive ones as well.(CM) Singer Chris Martin says "you cut me down to size and opened up my eyes."(CM) Without the loose structure, extreme challenges, and harsh rules of the school day(parallelism), we would never remember that there are people and assignments that can "cut [us] down to size" and whip us into shape after a summer of relaxation.(SD) Heavyweights has some interesting and positive metaphors that remind me of going back to school.(CM) In the middle of camp activities, now under direction of the punishing new owner who forbids candy on the premises, the boys would sneak out and grab some treats that they hid in a hollow tree stump.(CM) Something to look forward kept the boys in pleasant spirits throughout the summer, and at the start of school and throughout the school year, the thought of relaxing on the weekends  keeps me in a cheerful mood.(CS) The start of school whips us into shape and shows us that there is always something to look forward to, no matter how stressful the times may seem.


                  (TS) Whether you loathe or rejoice the start of school, the thought of tests, studying, and schedules are unavoidable.(CM) If you have the ability to keep a positive mindset, you can block those images with thoughts of seeing your friends and having fun with them.(CM) If this is too hard a task, you are left in a pool of negative emotions that consume your mind.(CS) Both good and evil thoughts enshroud the brain of a scholar returning to school from a relaxing summer, yet how that scholar perceives them is a decision that must be made.


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Self-Assessment


One weak point I see in this writing is definitely the clarity of the sentences, especially the sentences at the end of the opening and closing paragraph. I definitely took advantage of antithesis in many of my sentences to enhance the writing. I have a lot of trouble clearly writing our my ideas and thoughts without making them jumbles up and confusing. 
Self-Grade= A-

Freestyle writing #1

Cooper Feltes
English 8
Mr. Salsich
September 9, 2010

Freestyle Writing

I am a BIG person. Sometimes it comes in handy, like when I’m dealing with someone who is making trouble, yet sometimes it can be more troublesome than enjoyable. Whenever I go to a party, or any social event for that fact, the only thing anyone has ever said to me when they meet me is “there is no way you are fourteen” or “oh my goodness Cooper you are very tall!” or “have you grown a foot over the summer?”; No of course I have not grown a foot over the summer, what kind of question is that! People just can’t seem to see anything interesting about me other than my height. When people ask me how tall I am, I say to myself, “did you really just ask me that?”. I hear it so many times every week from numerous different people.  I mean, I’ve been the tallest kid in my class since 3^rd grade, but it was fun to me back then, and now it’s just a burden. Like this summer I worked for a camp for little kids (namely 3-12 year olds) and I swear, until I told the other counselors my age, they treated me like I was nineteen. Countless times have I been approached in different stores just browsing around and people ask me where they can find different things, like I worked at the stores. I don’t like being tall sometimes, but then I think to myself, it’s better to be very tall than very short.

Cooper Feltes

Top 10 Favorite  sentences



27 September, 2009,

Respect:

A Look at How Respect is a Common Theme in To Kill A Mocking Bird

(TS) Respect is a food that powers peace.

This sentence is admirable because it is true. I didn't think that I could have come up with such a powerful sentence  back at the beginning of the year.

October 18, 2009,

Privacy:

Privacy and It's Different Functions and Meanings

To me, it's hard to keep a secret that is nagging to jump out of your mouth, waiting to spoil someone's reputation.

This sentence is extremely crisp and clear. The appositive closer at the end adds power to the

sentence.  

October 21 2009,

Glorious sway:

The Examination of the Simple Sway of a Descending Feather

More than one thing in anyone's life has something to be showed by a feather's fall.

I remember having to put about 30 minutes into the closing paragraph of this essay. Because this is the final sentence, I needed to add a little extra time to create the ultimate closing sentence, and I think I succeeded.


October 28, 2009

The Fearful:

How Fear Corresponds to My Life

 A perfect, fearless world is a "man-eating unicorn", not only because it's not possible, but once we get there, we would kill our minds and create a brain with less capacity for excellence.

I enjoy this sentence because there are no misplaced words. I know I could have messed this sentence up by making it unclear, but I read it over multiple times. I also like the "man-eating unicorn" analogy.

November 18, 2009

Want:

A View Upon How things Are or Aren't Wanted.

Wake up in the morning and worry not about what lies ahead, or The challenges that face you, for the hardest part is starting to sit up.

I like this sentence because I have felt this very feeling. Writing about something you feel is much more enjoyable than writing something you don't.

January 13. 2010

Personality:

A View Upon How Personality is Very Important In my Life and in To Kill a Mockingbird

Efficiency is an equal balance of time, effort, and quality, and before I can acheive it, there must be a balance between all three of these factors.

I like this sentence because I give a clear, definite problem and i plot the solution, and I do agree that I try to be efficient.

January 27/2010

Rebellion:

The Growth of Rebellion in My Life and in To Kill a Mockingbird.

My parents have raised me to be 99.99% obedient, so much so, that I can't remember any time where I said "no" to one of my parents requests. I think my childhood compliance is coming back to bite my parents as I grow ever aware of how much I force myself to do.


I chose this sentence because I don't like the truth of it. It is good to bring myself to realize that I need to think more of my own needs than I have been.

March 10, 2010

Forgiveness:

An Essay About Forgiveness in My Life

When I have done something wrong that is scolded, I tend to kick myself for it for months. I try to remember that if they can forgive and forget, then so can I.



I like these sentences because this is still a problem. To look back and see that I was courageous enough to tell this to the world.

Friendship

Freestyle Essay

They’ve most likely been friends for decades.

They’ve taken and passed the friendship test.

To be honest, I don't know why I like this sentence.

May 17, 2010

Choice:

An Essay That Describes My Belief in Choice

I am now living that later life I spoke of so long ago, and my prophecy(thesaurus word) has become a reality.

I like my sophisticated diction in this sentence. The apt the saurus word adds to the sentences beauty as well.