Essay #1 summer's end

Cooper Feltes

English 9

Mr. Salsich

September 14, 2010

Summer's End:

My Thoughts on the Start of School

                 (TS) There are many different ways to feel about beginning the new school year. (CM) Having a positive attitude is probably the best way to cope with the coming months of homework, tests, and studying.(CM) Keeping a negative mindset, however, is easier and can hold a student in a rut of anguish and dismay.(CS) However you deal with the event, going back to school is unavoidable, and leaves many students wondering whether to love it, or to hate it.

                 (TS)There are many ways to make going back to school and ending summer seem like a horrible occasion.(SD) Listening to “Swallowed in the sea” by Coldplay keeps me from enjoying  going back to school.(CM) The song mentions placing people “on a shelf”, putting people “on a line, and [hanging people] out to dry.” (CM)These kinds of things are exactly what I feel when the summer comes to an end and the school year approaches. (SD)Watching the movie Heavyweights reminds me of going back to school.(CM) At a summer camp, the fun and playful owners retire to let a new and crazy owner take away the fun, making the kids throw away their candy, forcing them to exercise way too much(long sentence). (CM)This is the kind of transition that most children go through when their summer comes to an end.(CS) Looking on the bright side is one of the only ways to cope with the coming school year.

                  (TS) There are some things that make me feel a little less blue about coming back to school.(SD) In the same song that has many negative metaphors, "Swallowed in the sea", we can see some positive ones as well.(CM) Singer Chris Martin says "you cut me down to size and opened up my eyes."(CM) Without the loose structure, extreme challenges, and harsh rules of the school day(parallelism), we would never remember that there are people and assignments that can "cut [us] down to size" and whip us into shape after a summer of relaxation.(SD) Heavyweights has some interesting and positive metaphors that remind me of going back to school.(CM) In the middle of camp activities, now under direction of the punishing new owner who forbids candy on the premises, the boys would sneak out and grab some treats that they hid in a hollow tree stump.(CM) Something to look forward kept the boys in pleasant spirits throughout the summer, and at the start of school and throughout the school year, the thought of relaxing on the weekends  keeps me in a cheerful mood.(CS) The start of school whips us into shape and shows us that there is always something to look forward to, no matter how stressful the times may seem.


                  (TS) Whether you loathe or rejoice the start of school, the thought of tests, studying, and schedules are unavoidable.(CM) If you have the ability to keep a positive mindset, you can block those images with thoughts of seeing your friends and having fun with them.(CM) If this is too hard a task, you are left in a pool of negative emotions that consume your mind.(CS) Both good and evil thoughts enshroud the brain of a scholar returning to school from a relaxing summer, yet how that scholar perceives them is a decision that must be made.


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Self-Assessment


One weak point I see in this writing is definitely the clarity of the sentences, especially the sentences at the end of the opening and closing paragraph. I definitely took advantage of antithesis in many of my sentences to enhance the writing. I have a lot of trouble clearly writing our my ideas and thoughts without making them jumbles up and confusing. 
Self-Grade= A-